Knave and the Black Knight
by ERiN OPPEL
Summary: Parody to Sonic and the Black Knight. Need I say more? PS: R&R, if you would please. COMPLETE!
1. Sonic's Calamitous Accident

_Hello, everyone! This is my parody FanFic of Sonic and the Black Knight! Beware randomness and guest star appearances! I hope you enjoy it! By the way, I'm the narrator._

_Note: I do not own ANYTHING! Not the Sonic characters, not the Arthurian characters, not even a car. :( Sonic belongs to SEGA._

Knave and the Black Knight

Prologue: Sonic's Calamitous Accident

ERiN: Our story takes place long before now, so I'm just going to rewind us there.

Sonic: *eating one out of three chili dogs* Yeah, can you hurry this up? I gotta get away from Amy when she comes.

ERiN: *takes out remote control* Hang on to your two chili dogs! *rewinds very quickly until accidentally coming to the Mesozoic Era* Whoops! Too far back!

Sonic: *looks around and sees a T-Rex looking hungrily at him* 0_0 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!

T-Rex: Roar! (Yummy!)

Sonic: *runs away* Save me, ERiN! :O

ERiN: Ah, here's the forward button. *fasts forward until we come to the Middle Ages* Here we are!

Sonic: Phew. *looks around to find that he's high in the air* 0_0 AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! *falls down with his two chili dogs falling after him*

ERiN: Meanwhile, we find a young woman running away for her life.

Merlina: *running* Help! I'm running for my life!

King Arthur: *chasing her, panting* Wait! Slow down! Huff, huff... Minions, get her!

Minion #1: What do you want us to do?

Minion #2: You're always telling us to let you lead! You never actually gave us any training!

Arthur: Well now's an exception. Surround her!

Minions: We're surrounding! *surround Merlina* Hey, that wasn't so hard.

Merlina: Oh yeah? Well you better watch out 'cause I'm gonna cast a spell that'll do something!

Arthur: *scoffs* You're bluffing. You don't know squat about magic.

Merlina: *glares at him menacingly* Try me. *spreads her arms out in a somewhat dramatic way* Uhh...Bibbity, bobbity, boo!

Sonic: *falls down on his face in front of Merlina* Ow! My ankle! Waaaaaaaa!

Merlina: 0_0 Wow. I didn't think it would actually work. *clears throat* I mean, of course it worked! See? Watch what I'm gonna do next! *Sonic's chilidogs fall into her open hands* ...That was fast. I didn't even say anything.

Sonic: *gets up quickly, somehow recovered* Gimme gimme gimme! *grabs one chilidog and shoves it in his mouth, then reaches for the other*

Arthur: Not so fast! *raises sword* I was gonna do this later, but now I don't feel so bad about it. *is about to strike*

ERiN: Suddenly, a tornado appears and pulls Merlina and Sonic into the air.

Merlina: *to Arthur* Uh, ha ha! I did this! Sucka! *blows raspberry at him*

ERiN: Sonic, however, wasn't as happy.

Sonic: *sees his chilidogs get blown away* My snack! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! XO THIS IS THE MOST CALAMITOUS THING EVER!

ERiN: ...That was the calamitous accident that was mentioned in the prologue title?

Sonic: *glares* Well _duh!_ What else could it be?!

ERiN: Whatever. The tornado carries Merlina and Sonic away.

Arthur: Hm. A little too windy to pursue. And it's not like my horse can fly or anything. *to Merlina and Sonic* I'll be back! *to Lancelot (Shadow), Gawain (Knuckles), and Percival (Blaze)* Kill them.

Gawain: Aw, do we _have _to?

Lancelot: *stomps on Gawain's foot*

Gawain: Owwie! *jumps up and down on one foot and holds the other*

Lancelot: Moron.

Arthur: If you need me, I'll be in my trailer.

ERiN: Uh, Arthur? They didn't have trailers in those days.

Arthur: No? Hmm, then I'll be in my jaccuzi.

ERiN: They didn't have those either.

Arthur: What about a penthouse?

ERiN: Nope.

Arthur: ...Open bar?

ERiN: Actually, one just opened up down the street.

Arthur: Great! I'm going! *smiles and rides off*

Knights: *awkward silence*

Percival: I still don't see why we have to do the dirty work for him.

Lancelot: Yeah! We should be at that bar!

Gawain: What are you talking about? I HATE beer!

Percival: No one likes you, Gawain.

Lacelot: *laughs* Yeah, your name sounds weird!

Gawain: *angrily points swords at him* You take that back! _Lacelot_!

Lancelot: *turns red in embarrassement* H-hey! That was a typo!

ERiN: Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I was too lazy to correct it.

Percival: Guys, we've taken up too much time. This prologue is long enough to be a trip to Disney Land.

Others: *look at her strangely* ...

Lancelot: Percival, that made no sense.

Percival: *dejected* ...Oh.

Lancelot: *whispering to Gawain* This is why they originally didn't want female knights.

Gawain: *snickers*

ERiN: Percival's right. Let's end this here. *to you readers* Please review! I'm open to suggestions as to what funny fluff you want to happen in this fic! But no flames, please.


	2. Knave the Hedgehog

_Thanks for the reviews. I probably should've mentioned that I'm never good at first chapters and that the story gets funnier as the chapters come._

Chapter 1: Knave the Hedgehog

ERiN: Last time on Hello Kitty, our heroine was facing off against her rival, Goodbye Kitty! ...Whoops, wrong script... Moving on... The tornado that was carrying Merlina and Sonic subsided and dropped them off somewhere. The location is not important.

Sonic: *looks at himself, sees he's not 3D anymore, and freaks out* AAH! What happened to the depth?! We're not 3D anymore!

Merlina: SEGA didn't have enough money in their budget to make all the cutscenes 3D.

Sonic: You mean we're gonna be 2D for most of the game?? Like some Wii version of the DS???

Merlina: Yes.

Sonic: Noooooooooo! The horror! *cries*

Merlina: Hey, it isn't so bad, since I saved both of us.

Sonic: I thought the narrator made the tornado appear.

Merlina: Uh, that's because I casted a spell to make the narrator make a tornado appear.

ERiN: *muttering to myself* You wish.

Sonic: Wait, did you say you _casted a spell_? Who _are_ you?

Merlina: *proudly* I am Merlina, the granddaughter of Merlin.

Sonic: *sarcastically* Yeah. Merlin the Magical Puppy.

Merlina: *glares at him* Hey! I am the granddaughter of Merlin the _Wizard_.

Sonic: *ignores her* What are you going to accidentally wish for this time? To be a real human? *howls with laughter*

Merlina: *grabs Sonic* Listen! Right now there are lives at stake, and if King Arthur has his way, then I won't be able to make the kingdom under my control!

Sonic: Hold on, kingdom under your control? o_0

Merlina: Uh, I didn't say that! Must've been the narrator.

ERiN: Riiiiiiight.

Sonic: Can't someone just tell me what's going on here?

Merlina: Ok, ok. I need you to defeat King Arthur before he kills us.

Sonic: Why would he kill us?

Merlina: *impatiently* Because he's _evil_! Sheesh!

Sonic: Nuh-uh! Haven't you ever watched Shrek the Third? *holds up movie* He's a hero!

Merlina: *sighs in frustration* This isn't one of those movies, Sonic. _This is real_.

Sonic: *frowns* Oh. *puts movie away* So, what do I do?

Merlina: The only way to defeat King Arthur is to make him bow.

Sonic: *thoughtfully* Hmmm... *imagines*

(Sonic's imagining)

Arthur: Muhahahahaha! *grins evilly at Sonic*

Sonic: *points at the ground* Hey, look! A 5-dollar bill!

Arthur: *bends down to look, but freezes* 0_0

Sonic: *speeds away*

Arthur: Darn! I'm stuck!

(End Sonic's imagining)

Sonic: *smiling*

Merlina: Just kidding. :)

Sonic: *groans* Aw, why'd you have to take the fun out of everything? :(

Merlina: First, you must wield the sacred sword, Caliburn.

Sonic: *looks around* All I see is a sword in a stone.

Merlina: *happily* You found it! :D

Sonic: *goes over to sword and tries pulling it out of the stone, grunting with effort* Why...won't...it...move?? *stops* Hmm...I know! To quote Shakespear, "Only a gentle hand will rule the land!"

Merlina: Shakespear didn't say that.

Sonic: Shut up. *grabs sword gently and carefully tries lightly pulling it out, but it still doesn't budge* What?! I'm pulling the lightest I can! *tries pulling different ways, but none works* Is this one of those swords that no matter how hard or light you pull, they never come out?

Merlina: No. It's the opposite. *holds up box that Caliburn came in which pictures a fly pulling out the sword*

Sonic: *angrily* You've got to be kidding me! *glares at the sword* Stupid sword. *kicks Caliburn, who then falls out*

Caliburn: Ouch! Watch it, fool!

Sonic: O_O I-it talks! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away as fast as he can, his cry fading*

Caliburn: Hmph. A coward as well.

Merlina: He'll be back. -_-

Caliburn: Hm, you're right. He does have to stop at the lake.

Merlina and Caliburn: *hear Sonic scream in the distance followed by a splash, and they quickly glance at each other*

ERiN: Several minutes later...

Sonic: *running back the way he came, dripping with water* WATER WATER WATER!!! *trips over stone and faceplants ground* Ugh...

Merlina: *dryly* Welcome back.

Caliburn: This guy can't be the chosen one! He is only a knave!

Sonic: *gets up and brushes dirt off of him* Uh, the name is Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog! *trademark grin and thumbs up*

Merlina: *rolls eyes*

Caliburn: What kind of name is Sonic? I think I'll just call you Knave the Hedgehog.

Sonic: And I think I'll just call you STUPID!

Caliburn: Hmph. Riffraff.

Sonic: Ok, _Caliburn_, it's time for me to wield you. Now into my hand!

Caliburn: *leaps into Sonic's hand, blade first*

Sonic: YEOOOOOOOOWWW! *drops Caliburn and runs around in a circle, clutching his hand* Owowowowowowowowow!

Merlina: *sighs* Here. Put on this gauntlet. It'll at least keep the blood from pouring out.

Sonic: *freezes* Wait...blood? *faints*

Caliburn: *to Merlina* You still think he's the one?

Merlina: *with a sly look on her face and a slightly evil smile* Ohh yes. He is the one.

_Yeah, I don't like the fact that the cutscenes are mostly 2D. Oh well, please review! I hope this chapter was better._


	3. That Awful Clive Owen Movie

_I've never actually played this game, just so you know. But I have watched the cutscenes._

Chapter 2: That Awful Clive Owen Movie

ERiN: Sonic woke up.

Sonic: Whoa, I had the weirdest dream where I fell into a land based off of Medieval Times, I was carried by a tornado, and I met a strange lady and a talking sword who cut me...

Caliburn: *stares at him*

Sonic: *sees Caliburn and Merlina* 0_0 AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! *is about to faint again*

Merlina: *firmly* Sonic, I forbid you to faint.

Sonic: *gulps and tries to remain calm*

Merlina: Now, enough distractions. We must get going so that we can stop Arthur. First of all, I think we should go see the Lady of the Lake.

Sonic: LAKE?! *steps back shakily* B-but there's water there...

Caliburn: Do you want me to stab you again? 'Cause this time I'll do it on purpose.

Sonic: The last time _was_ on purpose!

Caliburn: *evilly* I know.

Sonic: *looks strangely at Caliburn and backs away* Ok, ok. Lady of the Lake it is. *starts walking towards lake with Caliburn, then notices Merlina is not coming, so he turns around but sees Merlina is sneaking away* Hey, aren't you coming?

Merlina: *stops and turns around quickly, looking startled* Oh! Uh...um...actually, I have, er, some business to attend to...

Sonic: *lightly* Ok. Do whatever you want. *turns back around and continues walking*

Merlina: *waits until Sonic and Caliburn are out of earshot, then snickers to herself* Heheheh...soon I'll be ready to take total control over the kingdom! Everything will be mine! All MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Sonic: *comes back* Oh Merlina, how do we get to the lake, again?

Merlina: 0_0 *stumbles, then clears throat* Uh, make a left at the blood-stained tree; a right at the skeleton pile; and just past the skull-shaped stones, which are really skulls but we tell everyone they're just stones.

Sonic: Ok. Thanks! *is about to leave, then remembers something* Oh yeah, and what did you mean when you said that everything will be all yours?

Merlina: 8| *quickly* Oh, uh, nothing! Nothing at all! *smiles sweetly*

Sonic: *smiles back* Ok, then. I'll just be going. *leaves*

Merlina: Have fun! :) *waits a few seconds, then leaves quickly*

ERiN: Later with Sonic and Caliburn...

Caliburn: May I be very honest with you?

Sonic: Caliburn, be as honest as you can. Whatever you want to say, just say it straight out.

Caliburn: *straight out* You have absolutely no experience and I don't want you as my wielder.

Sonic: *surprised* Well that's a sucker-punch to the gut. :|

Caliburn: So since you aren't as perfect as me, I have come up with a system that'll improve your rank but you'll still remain a knave. Each time you do something heroric, an amount of followers will be yours depending on how well you did it. Each total amount brings you to a new rank, but I'll still call you Knave.

Sonic: Well that doesn't sound fair. ':|

Caliburn: Life isn't fair, so why should this be?

Sonic: Hmm, that idea sucks. How 'bout each time I do something good, I get a chilidog? :)

Caliburn: We don't have chilidogs, so no.

Sonic: *outraged* What?! No chilidogs??? What kind of people are you?!?!

Caliburn: The civilized kind.

Sonic: Hey, I'm civilized!

Caliburn: The light is civilized. You are not.

Sonic: What does that even mean?

Caliburn: You'd understand if you were a knight. But never mind that now. We've just passed the skulls, so we're approaching the lake.

Sonic: *calls out worridly over lake* Hey, Lady! Lady of the Lake! Please come out of there so I won't have to go in!

Nimue: *resurfaces from lake, coughing* Well, it's about time you showed up! I can't hold my breath forever down there! *looks up at Sonic and is suddenly lovestruck* Well, hello there! :D

Sonic: O_O Ack! She's following me! *starts to run away, but Caliburn stabs his shoe, keeping him in place*

Caliburn: Relax, it's just a woman.

Sonic: It's not just a woman, it's _Amy_! :O *tries pulling Caliburn out of his shoe* She must've known I've forgotten about our date! *to Nimue* I'm really sorry, Amy! I swear I wrote it on my calender, but--

Caliburn: That's just Nimue, the Lady of the Lake.

Sonic: Nuh-uh! It's just Amy _disguised_ as the Lady of the Lake!

Nimue: *hasn't heard what they were saying* My name is Nimue, but you can call me honey. *winks at Sonic*

Sonic: *looks strangely at her* What?

Nimue: And what may your name be, Sir knight?

Sonic: *about to reply*

Caliburn: *beats him to it* He is Knave. Knave the Hedgehog. And he's not a knight.

Sonic: *glares at Caliburn* I _am_ a knight! Figuratively speaking! And my name's not Knave!

Nimue: *giggles* Knave, huh? You're cute. Er, I mean, that's cute. *giggles and blushes*

Caliburn: *rolls his eyes, muttering to himself* Oh brother.

Sonic: *to Nimue* So, _Nimue_, how did King Arthur become evil in the first place?

Nimue: *gets out a crystal ball and images appear inside it as she speaks* A long time ago, King Arthur was a good king. He-- *realizes that the Super Mario Bros. Super Show is playing in the crystal ball instead of the proper images* Oh, oops! I forgot that I taped an episode on here. Heheheh... *rewires crystal ball and pushes multiple buttons* Ah, here we go. *crystal ball now shows right stuff* As you know, King Arthur used to be good, but he became evil because--

Sonic: *lights up, interrupting* He watched that awful Clive Owen movie! :D

Nimue and Caliburn: ... ':|

Sonic: You know, the movie "King Arthur" starring Clive Owen as Arthur! *grabs crystal ball and looks intently in it* Yes, I see it all now...

(Crystal ball forced to project the following thoughts of Sonic)

King Arthur: *walks into Blockbuster and picks up a movie* Hey, this one looks cool! "King Arthur"...Hey, that's me! *gasps in delight* And it stars Clive Owen as me! That's it, I'm getting this! :D *runs out of Blockbuster without paying and goes home*

Arthur: *at home, while watching "King Arthur" on his stone TV* This is terrible! I'm a _King_! Not a Roman officer! I shall get my revenge by making my reign tyranical! From now on, I shall be known as... *magically transforms himself* The Dark Knight! Mwahahaha--

Minion #1: *interrupts* Uh, excuse me Sir, but the Dark Knight has already been taken. By Batman.

Arthur: :| Oh. Well then, I shall be known as... *magically transforms into the same transformation* The Black Knight! *continues maniacal laughter*

(End crystal ball forced to project the previous thoughts of Sonic)

Sonic: :)

Nimue: ...As much as I like you, *swipes crystal ball back* you're wrong.

Caliburn: Heheheh...

Sonic: What's wrong with my idea?

Nimue: Here's what really happened. *tries to summon images into crystal ball, but the battery dies* Aw! I lost my visual aid! :( *tosses crystal ball away and it shatters* Anyway, to sum it all up, Arthur was influenced by the scabbard of Excalibur to become evil in order to gain immortality.

Sonic: *crosses arms and mutters to himself* I still like my idea better.

Caliburn: *to Nimue* But if Arthur is now immortal, then how do we defeat him?

Nimue: Oh my knowledge only goes so far. You have to figure that out yourself.

Sonic: What?!

Nimue: Hey, a smart, handsome guy like you should have no problem! *winks at Sonic* Just use your imagination!

Caliburn: Unless you want us all to turn out like that Clive Owen movie, I don't think that's a good idea.

Nimue: *to Sonic* Wait, there is something you could do if you want to become a knight.

Sonic: Really? What is it?

Nimue: I have three tests for you. First, you have to free the innocents from King Arthur's dungeon.

Sonic: *is writing on a scroll with a feather pen* Saving people? This should be easy! I save you-- I mean, Amy all the time!

Nimue: Second, you have to offer compassion to those in need.

Sonic: *continues writing* No problem! Piece of cake!

Nimue: And third, you have to defeat the knights of the Underworld.

Caliburn: *to Sonic* Are you getting this all down?

Sonic: Uh... *draws a circle on his tic-tac-toe grid*

Nimue: Once you do all that, you should be worthy of being a true knight.

Sonic: Hang on, I thought you said that after I do all this, I _will be_ a true knight.

Nimue: Oh no, to be a true knight, you have to get a ton of followers. Which could take like, a few years.

Sonic: 0_0 A few years?! I have to be one NOW! *slams Caliburn to the ground*

Caliburn: OW! For your information, no matter how many followers you get, your name will still be Knave.

Sonic: You shut up!

Nimue: Don't worry, Knave, I'm sure you'll be a knight soon enough. *smiles and prepares to jump back into the lake* Good luck on your challenges! *jumps into lake and disappears*

Sonic: Ok Caliburn, let's get these tasks over with.

Caliburn: *sighs* This quest is going to be longer than I thought. -_-

_End of chapter 2. Obviously. Please review._


	4. Mysterious Inventory

_Hopefully this won`t be like that awful Clive Owen Movie._

Chapter 3: Mysterious Inventory

ERiN: After walking in the woods for a few hours, Sonic and Caliburn still hadn`t done anything worthwhile. Except passed the time by playing a few rounds of Eye-Spy.

Sonic: I spy with my little eye, something that is blue.

Caliburn: It's you. And the next one's just a guess: you.

Sonic: *amazed* Wow, how do you do that?

Lancelot: FREEZE!

ERiN: Sonic and Caliburn look up and see Lancelot standing a few meters in front of them with his sword pointed at them, but they don't know who he is yet.

Sonic: 'Scuse me, buddy, we're kinda busy. Playing Eye-Spy, y'know? *realizes Lancelot looks familiar* Hold on a second...Is that you, Shadow?

Lancelot: ':| I'm not Shadow. *gestures proudly at himself* I, am Lancelot. *points to one side* That dork over there, is Shadow.

Sonic and Caliburn: *look to where he is pointing and see the real Shadow tied to a tree with duct-tape on his mouth*

Shadow: *mumbles angrily and struggles to get free*

Sonic: *scoffs* You don't know what you're talking about. I barely even know that guy! *to Shadow* What'd you say your name was?

Shadow: *growls and glares at Sonic*

Lancelot: *to Sonic* So, who are you?

Caliburn: He is Knave the Hedgehog.

Sonic: Hey! Now wait just a second! I'm--

Lancelot: *snickers* Knave? What kind of name is that?

Shadow: *also snickers*

Lancelot: *to Shadow angrily* No being happy! *to Sonic, amused* You look more like a court jester than a knight.

Sonic: *jaw drops in rage* How DARE you compare me to NiGHTS!

NiGHTS: *appears out of nowhere* Hey! I'm not a court jester! I'm an androgynous, anthromorphic--

Sonic: Yeah, yeah, nobody cares.

NiGHTS: *glares at Sonic before flying away*

Sonic: *gets out scroll checklist* Random guest star appearance #1, check. *checks off box*

Caliburn: *to Sonic* This is just my opinion, but maybe it would be wise to fight Lancelot now.

Sonic: No problem. This'll be over quickly. *walks up to Lancelot* Since we're going to be playing fair, we should have a handshake before we begin this. *smiles and holds out his hand*

Lancelot: *hesitates, then smiles slyly* Ok. *slowly reaches for Sonic's hand, then quickly swings his sword at him* Hya!

Sonic: *jumps back, screaming and holding his bloody hand* OW! Hey, I thought we were playing fair! :'(

Lancelot: Us _real_ knights never play fair.

Sonic: *irritably* That's _we_ real knights!

Caliburn: Pipe down, Knave.

Lancelot: *repeatedly cuts Sonic with his sword mercilessly* Hahahaha! Die! Die! Die! *evil grin*

Sonic: *trying to get away, unsuccessfully* Ow! Ow! Ow! Caliburn, help me! :'O

Caliburn: *reading a magazine in scroll form* Did you know that the Black Plague is not caused by the rats, but by the fleas that they carry? Fascinating! :)

Sonic: NOT HELPING!

Caliburn: *sighs heavily and puts down scroll magazine*

Lancelot: *to Sonic* Any last words? *prepares a death blow*

Sonic: Yeah! My name's not--

Caliburn: Arondight, cut that out.

Arondight: Ok. *drops from Lancelot's hand*

Lancelot: What?! Grr, stupid sword! *turns and runs away* I'll be back!

Arondight: No he won't.

Sonic: Wow, can all the sacred swords talk?

Caliburn: Not in the game. In the FanFic, yes.

ERiN: I made that adjustment.

Sonic: Sweet! *picks up Arondight* You'll be my new sword, Arondight! *to Caliburn* Get lost!

Caliburn: As much as I would love to leave you, I'm afraid I am stuck with you. Arondight will have to go in our inventory until he's useful to us.

Arondight: See ya! *disappears*

Sonic: 0_0 Weird...

Caliburn: Now we shall free your friend here.

Sonic: *grudgingly* He is _not_ my friend.

Caliburn: *cuts rope and frees Shadow*

Shadow: *rips off duct-tape and shouts joyfully* YEAAAAAAAAAH! *realizes his mouth hurts* 0_0 YEOWZA! Duct-tape stings!

Sonic: Aw, I wanted to leave him tied to the tree... :(

Shadow: *grabs a Chaos Emerald* See ya, _Knave_. Chaos... *starts to perform Chaos Control*

Sonic: Wait! Take me with you! *runs to Shadow*

Shadow: ...Control! *disappears*

Sonic: *is too late* Noooooooooooooooooooo! *cries* I'm never gonna get back home!

Caliburn: *smacks him* Quit moping! You still have lots of work to do!

Sonic: What do you mean _I_ have lots of work to do? Aren't you supposed to be helping me?

Caliburn: No. I am just a weapon. So _you_ have to take care of _me_. Therefore, _you_ have to take _me_ to the blacksmith.

Sonic: *confused* The what-what?

Caliburn: The blacksmith. I have a blood stain on my blade from cutting your hand. It must be cleaned.

Sonic: I thought you were made of stainless steel!

Caliburn: Check the box.

Sonic: *grabs the box that Caliburn came from and reads it* It says "real stainless steel".

Caliburn: It's in the fine print. You gotta squint to see it.

Sonic: Aww. *squints and reads fine print* "Not really stainless. We're just saying that to make you buy this old thing. Ha ha." *glares and throws box at the ground* D'oh!

Caliburn: So what are you waiting for? Carry me to the blacksmith.

Sonic: No way!

(Later...)

Sonic: *carrying Caliburn up a hill* ...Low blood sugar, huh?

Caliburn: Yeah.. *after a pause* Walk faster, I'm beginning to oxidize.

_I just realized that they're supposed to defeat Lancelot and meet the blacksmith before seeing the Lady of the Lake. My bad...Review anyway, please._


	5. Caliburn Lies

_I hope I get the rest of the cutscenes in the right order._

Chapter 4: Caliburn Lies

(Blacksmithsonian-- a fancy word for the blacksmith's. Not really.)

Sonic: *knocks on door* Hurry up, this thing is heavy.

Blacksmith: *opens door, talks with way too much enthusiasm* HI! WELCOME TO MY BLACKSMITHSONIAN! :D

Sonic: ...Tails?

Blacksmith: HAHAHAHA! YOU'RE FUNNY! MY NAME IS BLACKSMITH! :D *points at name at the beginning of this line* SEE?

Sonic: *whispering to Caliburn* I don't think he's got Tails locked up anywhere.

Caliburn: *to Blacksmith* I need a coat of stainless steel.

Blacksmith: COATS? WHY, WE HAVE ALL KINDS OF COATS! *grabs different coats* WE HAVE WINTER COATS, FALL COATS, WHY WE EVEN HAVE SUMMER COATS! :D *throws coats at Sonic*

Sonic: Oof! *drops coats* Uh, no. Caliburn needs a _stainless steel_ coat.

Blacksmith: OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? :D *puts Caliburn onto the table and grabs stainless steel paint* WHAT COLOUR DO YOU WANT? :D

Caliburn: Just give me silver.

Blacksmith: SILVER? WHY, WE HAVE ALL KINDS OF SILVER! *grabs different paint cans* MOONLIGHT SILVER, TIN-FOIL SILVER, SILVER-LINING-CLOUD SILVER, AND SHINY SILVER! :D *about to throw paint cans at Sonic*

Sonic: 0_0 *quickly* Just give him the Shiny Silver!

Blacksmith: SHINY SILVER IT IS! :D *puts Shiny Silver paint can down and throws the rest at Sonic*

Sonic: AAH! *gets hit by all the cans and falls over*

Blacksmith: *cleans Caliburn's blade and paints it*

Caliburn: *relaxed* Ahhhh...that feels good...

Sonic: *with bandages all over and an icepack on his head* Glad it's working for ya.

Blacksmith: WE'RE ALL DONE! :D

Caliburn: *checks self out in the mirror* Well, I look brand-new! Fresh out of the box! What do you think, Knave?

Sonic: I think I'm gonna kill you for calling me that, and then I'm gonna go home.

Blacksmith: THANKS FOR COMING! SEE YOU AGAIN SOON! :D *waves goodbye*

Sonic: *falters* Soon? What do you mean, soon? ':|

Blacksmith: CALIBURN BOOKED A DAILY APPOINTMENT WITH ME! :D

Sonic: 0_0 Oh NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Caliburn: Come, Knave. We must continue on your quest. *leaves*

Blacksmith: BYE CALIBURN! BYE KNAVE! :D

Sonic: *about to argue, but is pulled away by Caliburn*

Caliburn: Let's go back into the woods. You need to take care of those three tasks, remember?

Sonic: Oh yeah. The three tests... What were they, again?

Caliburn: *gets an idea* First, you have to do 100 bellyflops into the river.

Sonic: WHAT?!

Caliburn: Next, you have to chop down trees with your teeth like a beaver.

Sonic: Ew, no way!

Caliburn: And finally, you must roast yourself until you're well-done.

Sonic: Ok, that's just crazy.

Caliburn: You want to be a knight, don't you? So that I'll stop calling you Knave?

Sonic: But you said that even though I'll be a knight, you'll still call me Knave!

Caliburn: What if I lied about you becoming a knight?

Sonic: *pulls out gun and points it at Caliburn* Did you?

ERiN: Sonic, put the gun away. That's for your western-themed game.

Sonic: Aww. *puts gun away*

Caliburn: So, what are you waiting for? Get started already!

Sonic: *sighs* Ok. Where's the nearest river?

_I'll tell you right now, Sonic shoulda kept the gun. Mwahaha! ...Please review._


	6. Sonic Finds Out That Caliburn Lied

_I had fun with this chapter._

Chapter 5: Sonic Finds Out That Caliburn Lied

Sonic: *at the edge of a river* ...So. This is the river I'm supposed to bellyflop, right?

Caliburn: Yep.

Sonic: *waits a few seconds* Ok, start counting. *continues waiting*

Caliburn: ...I would if you were jumping.

Sonic: *gulps* Here I go... I'm jumping on the count of 3. *squeezes eyes shut and prepares to jump* 1...

Caliburn: *rolls his eyes and pushes Sonic*

Sonic: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! *bellyflops into river* WATER WATER WATER!!! GET IT OFF!!! *jumps out of river, shivering* How many was that?

Caliburn: *marks a tick in the dirt*

Sonic: *falls on ground, sobbing* Why me??? _Why me???_

Caliburn: I ask myself that every day. -_-

(100 bellyflops later...)

Caliburn: Wow. I actually made you do one more than you were supposed to.

Sonic: *groans and falls down*

Caliburn: Next you have to chop down a tree in 30 seconds using your teeth.

Sonic: *gets up and goes over to a tree* Ok. I'm ready. Wait a minute, you never said anything about a time limit!

Caliburn: It must've slipped your mind. Oh, be sure to watch out for splinters and bugs living under the bark. Ok, go!

Sonic: *begins rapidly chewing, speaking through teeth and bark* All...I...have...to...do...is...imagine...I'm...eating...a...chilidog! *eventually chews tree down* Phew! *spits bark, bugs, and splinters out of his mouth* So, did I do it under the time limit?

Caliburn: How should I know? I don't have a watch.

Sonic: O_O ARGH! *falls down*

Caliburn: Oh well. Guess you'll have to start over.

(Later still...)

Sonic: *almost done chewing through another tree*

Caliburn: Oh blast, I lost count again. Start over.

Sonic: *stops* Awwwwwwww! :(

(After Sonic eventually passed...)

Sonic: *full of gaps in his teeth and splinters in his gums* Now...what?

Caliburn: There is still one more test. You have to roast yourself until you're well-done.

Sonic: Fine. Get me a stake, a rope, a firepit without sticks, some sticks, and the secret herbs and spices.

Caliburn: You have to find those yourself.

Sonic: *snaps fingers and frowns* Shoot!

ERiN: Once Sonic found all that stuff, he got everything set up.

Sonic: *tied to the stake above the fire* I'm gonna cook myself rotiseri style! :)

Caliburn: But how will you rotate yourself?

Sonic: *about to answer, but can't think of anything* Hmm...guess I'll have to be cooked unevenly.

Caliburn: *rests on a stump* Let me know when you're well-done.

(When Sonic's well-done...)

Sonic: *unties himself from stake, his body all charred* Ok, I'm well-done!

Caliburn: Hm. That's strange, you're not dead.

Sonic: Fool! You can't kill a cartoon character! *licks himself* Who actually tastes not half bad. :)

Caliburn: Well. Surprisingly, you passed all three tests.

Sonic: I knew I could do it! I _am_ the world's greatest hedgehog!

Caliburn: However... *pauses for dramatic effect* You should have kept your gun. *pulls out gun and cocks it, pointing it at Sonic*

Sonic: 0_0 How're you holding that thing?!

Caliburn: *looks at floating gun* I have no idea. *looks at Sonic* But it doesn't matter, because those weren't the real tests! *throws gun away and cracks up laughing* Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! XD

Sonic: *stares venomously (but surprisingly calmly) at Caliburn with one of his eyes twitching* You done?

Caliburn: Not yet. *continues laughing*

Sonic: *still containing his anger, but it causes him to tremble*

Caliburn: *finally subsides laughter* Ah, that was fun. Ready for the real tests now?

Sonic: *punches Caliburn, but recoils in pain* Ow, ow, ow! *holds wounded hand and blows on it*

Caliburn: Haha! Who punches a sword? No wonder you're a knave.

Sonic: Stop calling me that already!

Caliburn: *giggles* No. :)

Sonic: *furiously glares* Why you--

Caliburn: Ah-ah-ah! The key to becoming a knight is controlling your anger.

Sonic: No one tells _me_ to control my anger!

Caliburn: *points himself at Sonic, speaks like some ancient master* Control your anger.

Sonic: No!

Caliburn: *about to strike*

Sonic: *curls up in defense* Ok, ok! I'm controlled!

Caliburn: Good. *lightly stabs Sonic*

Sonic: Ow! *rubs arm* Hey, what'd you do that for? I said I was controlled!

Caliburn: Oh I just did that for fun. :)

Sonic: *grumbles some swear words under his breath*

Caliburn: Well, we'd best be off. Come along, Knave.

Sonic: *gritting his teeth* My _name_ is--

ERiN: And we're out of time! Join us again next time on, "Knave and the Black Knight"! And please review.


	7. The, Uh, Kid

_Ok, now we're making progress._

Chapter 6: The, Uh, Kid

ERiN: When we last left off...

Caliburn: Come along, Knave.

Sonic: My _name_ is--

Kid: Help!

Caliburn: That's even worse than Knave. Maybe I should call you Help from now on.

Sonic: No, no, someone was calling for him already. Apparently that name's taken.

Kid: *clears throat* Maybe I didn't make myself clear. HEEELLLLLLLP!!!!

ERiN: Sonic and Caliburn run towards the scream and find the, uh, kid.

Sonic: *to kid* Wow, you're uglier than me! *(referring to how he is all beat up and stuff)*

Kid: Oh no, you're very handsome. :)

Caliburn: *realizes who the kid really is and rolls eyes* Oh dear, not again.

Sonic: *wasn't listening to Caliburn* Uh... *shifts eyes from side to side* Ok... Hey, you sound kinda familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?

Kid: 0_0 *quickly* No! I'm certainly not Nimue in disguise! As far as I know, I've never met you before in my life!

Sonic: *believes her* Oh, ok.

Kid: Umm... *to herself* What was I gonna say? Oh yeah! *to Sonic* Uh, there was a big dragon and it destroyed my village and it took my mommy and daddy, my sisters and my brothers, and my Aunt Lucy, and my Uncle Urban, and my 15 cousins, and my second cousin 10 times removed... *continues sobbing relatives*

Sonic: *crosses his arms and taps his foot impatiently, then checks the sun to see if it's still moving* Hmm.

Kid: ...and my great-aunt's sister's cousin 157 times removed, into a big cave!

Caliburn: *muttering to himself* Must be a pretty big cave.

Sonic: *to kid* Beat it. *about to turn away*

Caliburn: *firmly* Now, Knave, that's not very knightly of you!

Sonic: Oh yeah? Well it wasn't very knightly of you to trick me into barbequing myself!

Caliburn: Remember one of the three tests?

Sonic: You mean one of the real ones, or one of the Anti-Sonic ones?

Caliburn: You know what I'm talking about. The real ones.

Sonic: *thoughfully* Hmm...what was it? *thinks for a while*

Kid: *annoyingly* Pwease save them!

Sonic: *angrily* Shut up! I'm trying to think! Oh great, now I lost my train of thought! *glares at kid* Thanks a lot!

Kid: *giggles shyly*

Caliburn: *to Sonic* One of the tests was to show compassion for those in need.

Sonic: Does it count if I show compassion for myself? 'Cause I'm in need of a loooooooong vacation.

Caliburn: No.

Sonic: Drat. Guess I'm stuck fighting a dragon and saving people.

Caliburn: And freeing the innocents from King Arthur's dungeon and defeating the knights of the Underworld.

Sonic: *whining* Aw, do I have to do those _too_?

Caliburn: I suggest you get started.

Sonic: Oh fine. *to kid* Where's the cave?

Kid: Just past the Underworld gathering and King Arthur's dungeon.

Caliburn: Well. How convienient.

Sonic: Ok, let's get this over with. *cracks knuckles, but it hurts* Owwwwwww!

Caliburn: *sighs wearily* Of all the chosen ones in the world, I had to get stuck with _him_.

_I decided to end this chapter now and put the tests in the next chapter. Sorry!_


	8. Dungeons and Dragons, and Evil Knights

_This chapter's a bit long, but I hope you like it anyway._

Chapter 7: Dungeons and Dragons, and Evil Knights

Sonic: *singing* On the road again, looks like we're on the road again--

Caliburn: What have I told you about singing?

Sonic: You never told me anything about singing!

Caliburn: Well I'm telling you now: shut up!

Sonic: Can I whistle?

Caliburn: No.

Sonic: Can I hum?

Caliburn: *sighs* All right. You can hum.

Sonic: *hums to the same song he was singing*

ERiN: Sonic and Caliburn at last reach the Underworld gathering. They stayed out of sight at the edge of the forest.

Caliburn: *quietly* You'll never get past them.

Sonic: Sure I will! With you in my hand, I can slice through all of them!

Caliburn: Are you sure you can do this?

Sonic: Hey, I survived your tests, how hard can this be? *starts charging at Underworld knights*

Underworld knight #1: *standing on a stage with a megaphone made out of wood* The Underworld gathering has now come to order. Who would like to state their deeds today first?

Sonic: *disguised as an Underworld knight* Me!

Caliburn: *whispering* Why are you wearing a disguise? They only worked in your The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon!

Sonic: Of course! So they'll work here too!

Underworld knight #1: Wait a minute, you're not one of us! You're Knave the Hedgehog!

Underworld knights: *gasp and look at Sonic*

Sonic: *laughs* No, I'm not! I'm Soni--

Underworld knights: *lunge at Sonic and beat him up before he can finish speaking* Beat him up! Make him suffer! Knave must die! *continue repeating chant*

Sonic: *getting beat up* Ow! Wait, please! OW! Stop--AYIIE! Whoa, not in the face, not in the face! *gets hurt in the face* AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

ERiN: Once the Underworld knights got bored of torturing Sonic, they tossed him out of their gathering spot.

Sonic: *lying on the ground with several cuts and bruises* Ugh...

Caliburn: *calmly hops over to Sonic* You handled that well.

Sonic: I'll just pass the next tests, and then I'll go back to take care of those knights. *gets up shakily and begins to slowly walk towards Arthur's dungeon*

Caliburn: Remember, you must free the innocent ones from King Arthur's dungeon.

Sonic: But how will I know which ones are innocent and which ones aren't?

Caliburn: A true knight shall be able to tell the difference.

Sonic: Great! So, where do we find a true knight?

Caliburn: *grumbles to himself*

ERiN: They finally find a way in the dungeon.

Sonic: *looking through the cells* Hmm...innocent, innocent... *continues listing which ones are innocent or not innocent, then looks in one cell and sees Mario* Mario?

Mario: *grabs bars and pleads* You've-a gotta help me, Sonic! Bowser framed me and is-a pretending to be a good king!

Sonic: I've heard that one before. *sternly* You're not innocent! *passes Mario's cell, looks into another* And who might you be?

Edmond Dantès: I am Edmond Dantès, accused of bringing a letter to the leader of the Bonapartists.

Sonic: You betrayed France?! You're not innocent! *passes Edmond's cell and looks into another* Mr. Resseti! What are you doing here?

Mr. Resseti: Apparently the Black Knight got tired of me telling him not to reset, so he threw me in here!

Sonic: That bums, man! But don't worry, you're innocent.

Other prisoners: *in shock and anger* WHAT?!

Sonic: *to Caliburn* Break the innocents out!

Caliburn: *hesitantly* Uh, are you sure you don't want to rethink--

Sonic: *impatiently* Hurry up! Look, Atilla's starving!

Atilla the Hun: *roars unintelligibly and bangs on wall*

Caliburn: *regretfully* If you say so. *slices through bars and sets all the bad guys free*

Bad guys: FREEDOM!!! *crash through the dungeon door, running over Sonic*

Sonic: Ow! Oof! Yurk! *gets up and brushes dust off him* That wasn't so bad. *looks out the doorway and sees the bad guys rampaging the nearby town while the song "The Joker and the Thief in the Night" is playing* 0_0 ...Oh...It's not too late to set the others free, right?

ERiN: An alarm suddenly sounds.

Alarm: Warning! Some idiot just freed some prisoners! Eliminating idiot now!

ERiN: A trapdoor opens under Sonic's feet and he and Caliburn both fall in, then both get shot out of the dungeon.

Sonic: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH-- *lands on his back* --OOF! *slowly opens his eyes and gasps just as Caliburn stabs the ground right beside his head* O_O *moans and faints*

Caliburn: *pulls self out of ground (somehow) and pokes Sonic* Get up, Knave! This is no time to be taking a nap!

Sonic: *mumbles to himself and gets up* Ok, I'll free the others later. We're almost at the cave. Nothing can interrupt us now!

Gawain: FREEZE!

ERiN: Sonic and Caliburn look up to see Gawain standing in front of them with his two swords.

Sonic: *to Caliburn* Hey! He's got two swords! That's cheating! *to Gawain* Cheater!

Caliburn: Actually it still counts as one sacred sword. So shush.

Gawain: *to Sonic* Ho! _You're_ the Knave the Hedgehog that Lancelot lost his sword to! And he told everyone you were some kind of giant!

Sonic: *enraged* What did you call me?!

Gawain: *confused* Giant?

Sonic: No, no, before that! Did you just call me a _ho?_

Caliburn: *gets an idea* Don't worry, Knave, calling someone 'ho' is a compliment.

Sonic: *pleased* Oh. *to Gawain* Why, thank you.

Gawain: *raises eyebrow* Uh, you're welcome? I guess. *puts on game face* But prepare to be sliced by Sir Gawain!

Sonic: Wait, you're _not_ Knuckles?

Gawain: *sticks thumb to the side* He's over there.

Sonic: *looks and sees Knuckles tied to a tree with duct-tape on his mouth*

Knuckles: *growling and struggling to get free*

Sonic: *trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together* Hmm...

Caliburn: Put that jigsaw puzzle away, Knave. You need to fight Gawain now.

Sonic: Aw, but I was so close to figuring out why the real versions keep appearing! *literally puts puzzle pieces away* Wait a minute, Caliburn, aren't you supposed to tell the swords to stop doing what they're supposed to do?

Caliburn: Yes. But I want to see you suffer for a bit.

Sonic: *about to protest, but gets beat up by Gawain* Owww! Hey, don't waste your strength on me! Yow! I already got beat up by the knights of the Underworld! AAH!

Gawain: *while beating him up* You can't fool me! I know you beat those knights!

Sonic: What? ':|

Gawain: And now you want to steal the dragon's treasure! But I'm not letting you do that! *continues attacking Sonic*

Sonic: *stops defending himself and ponders deeply, while still getting attacked* Hmm...treasure...

Caliburn: Had enough yet?

Sonic: Actually, the thought of using the riches to build a sword destroyer in order to get rid of you makes the pain go away.

Caliburn: Well, that's not going to happen. Galatine, stop that!

Galatine (both swords): Ok. *stop beating up Sonic*

Gawain: No! How could I fail to a sword? I shall live no more. *picks up one of the Galatine swords and holds it to his neck* Farewell!

Sonic: *calm* Ok. :)

Gawain: *hesitates* Uh, I'm killing myself! Right now!

Sonic: Go ahead. :)

Gawain: *hesitates some more* Er, if anyone wants to object, do it now!

Sonic: No thanks. :)

Gawain: *waits* I'm really doing it! This is the end!

Sonic: Bye-bye. :)

Gawain: :| *waits longer and trembles, then finally drops his sword* I CAN'T DO IT! *falls to his knees and starts crying*

Sonic: *rolls his eyes* Drama Queen. *picks up Galatine* You're coming with me!

Galatine (both swords): Thank goodness! Gawain is too emotional. *disappear*

Sonic: *to Caliburn* Ok, let's keep going. *starts walking away*

Caliburn: Aren't you forgetting about someone?

Sonic: *stops and thinks* Uh...I don't think so..Who?

Knuckles: *mumbles loudly in anger*

Sonic: Oh, yeah! Guess you should free Knuckles.

Caliburn: *cuts Knuckles' rope*

Knuckles: *rips off duct-tape* OWWW! Phew, that's better.

ERiN: Suddenly, the Master Emerald appeared in a flash of light.

Knuckles: Oh, my ride's here. Gotta go! *jumps onto Master Emerald* Later!

Sonic: Knuckles! Wait for meee! *runs towards the Master Emerald, but it vanishes in a flash of light* ...Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Caliburn: Come on. Let's defeat the dragon.

Sonic: *remembers the treasure and stops crying* Oh yeah! And then I'll get the treasure and be rich! Hahaha! :D

Caliburn: *stares at him*

Sonic: ...Ok, let's go.

ERiN: For the sake of time, let's just say they got to the cave and saw the dragon.

Sonic: *boldly goes up to the dragon* Uh, excuse me, but could you point me in the direction of the treasure?

Dragon: *roars at Sonic*

Sonic: Ok, ok! I really wanted to save the people in the cave-- *sees there is no one in the cave* --hey, where are all the people?

Caliburn: *whispering* It could be a horrible trap.

Sonic: Who cares? As long as I get the treasure. *gets an idea* And I think I know just the right way to get it... *to dragon* Ho, could you take me to the treasure?

Dragon: *glares at Sonic and roars in fury*

Sonic: What's the matter? I called you a ho, so you should be nice to me for giving you such a compliment!

Dragon: *rears back, then blasts fire from its mouth at Sonic*

Sonic: *getting burned* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dragon: *swings its tail at Sonic and sends him flying far away*

Sonic: *flying far away* WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *lands back to where the kid was waiting* Ooohh...my body...

Caliburn: *somehow manadges to catch up with Sonic* Only a fool would believe that "ho" is a compliment.

Sonic: You...you tricked me?!

Caliburn: Of course! You're so gullible.

Sonic: Wait, that means loveable right?

Caliburn: Uh...yes. :)

Sonic: Oh, good. :)

Kid: *to Sonic, a little sadly* I actually thought you would pass all the tests...

Sonic: Wait, how did you know about that?

Kid: Oh, right. Guess I should reveal myself. *transforms back into Nimue*

Sonic: Whoa! Didn't see that coming.

Caliburn: *muttering to himself* Then you're obviously stupider than I thought.

Nimue: *to Sonic* Sorry I had to trick you like that.

Sonic: *to Nimue* You got some explaining to do! I got beaten up by the knights of the Underworld, freed the guilty ones from the dungeon, got my butt kicked by Gawain, and went to the cave to find no one there but the dragon...and the treasure. *longingly* All that precious treasure...WAAAAAAAA!!! *starts bawling*

Nimue: Oh yeah, I forgot to conjure up all the family members and put them in the cave.

Caliburn: *smacks Sonic* Stop crying, it's rude.

Sonic: *wipes his eyes and sniffs* So...I'm still a knave?

Nimue: Heh, I guess even the handsome ones can't all become knights. But you're still a knight in my heart. :)

Sonic: *flatly* Yeah. Thanks a lot.

_In case you're wondering why the knights have captured the real versions of themselves, stop wondering. I just felt like including them in this fic for no apparent reason. Other than it makes it more funny. I think._


	9. Thuds and Hisses

_Hey look! It's chapter 8!_

Chapter 8: Thuds and Hisses

Sonic: ...Now what?

Nimue: Oh yeah! I'm supposed to tell you how to defeat King Arthur!

Sonic: Wait, so you finally figured it out?

Nimue: Yep! And I gotta tell you, it is really complicated!

Sonic: Just my luck. -_-

Nimue: First, you have to get all three sacred swords. Lastly, you have to use them against Arthur.

Sonic: ...That's it?

Nimue: That's it. :)

Sonic: ...So...those two steps are very complicated. -_0

Nimue: Definitely. :)

Sonic: Well...we have two sacred swords, but...

Nimue: But?

Sonic: But they disappeared into our inventory and I don't know how to get them back!

Nimue: *confused* Huh? They weren't supposed to do that.

Sonic: 0_0 What?! Then what am I gonna do???

Nimue: Uh...hang on, I'll check out the enclosed instruction book. *gets instruction book and quickly looks through it* Umm...aha! All you have to do is do the Hokey-Pokey--

Sonic: *interrupts in disbelief* Are you bleeping crazy?!

Nimue: --or get Caliburn to call them back.

Sonic: *calm* Oh, ok.

Caliburn: Great. Now let's go before this scene becomes boring.

Sonic: *to Nimue, angrily* Yeah, Nimue! You're boring!

Nimue: *startled* Oh. I'm sorry. *looks down sadly*

Sonic: *to Caliburn* Alright, which knight do we go after now?

Caliburn: I believe it is Sir Percival.

Sonic: Hmm, he sounds like a worthy opponent.

Caliburn: Oh, I should mention that--

Sonic: *interrupts and starts walking away* If he thinks he's any more manly than the last two, I'll send him running like a girl!

Caliburn: But--

Sonic: Less talking, more walking, Caliburn.

Caliburn: *gives up and follows Sonic*

ERiN: They walked--

Sonic: How come we're always walking instead of running?

ERiN: Quiet. That's not important. Anyway, they came to the top of a cliff.

Sonic: *looks around at the barren landscape* Hey, is that Sir Percival in the distance?

Caliburn: *looks in the distance* Yes, I believe so.

Sonic: *sits down* We'll wait for him to come to us.

(A few minutes later...)

Percival: *finally gets close enough and is about to say something*

Sonic: *beats her to it* I know, I know. Freeze. *gets into fighting stance* Let's go, dude! Man to man combat!

Percival: *takes off her helmet and throws it before Sonic, then speaks angrily in his face* So! My title being "Sir" automatically makes me a _guy! _Is that it, Hedgeboy?

Sonic: *jumps in surprise* Yikes! He's a girl! 0_0

Caliburn: Well I tried to tell you...

Percival: *growls and stomps her foot* This is what happens when King Arthur refuses to call me Dame! I'm...so...SICK OF IT!!! *throws her sword Laevatein at the ground*

Sonic: *backs up* Whoa. :|

Caliburn: Yes, she's a bit sensitive about being referred to as a male.

Sonic: I'm sorry, Blaze. *quickly* I mean, Percival! Percival. *glances around* Hey, where is Blaze, anyway?

Percival: I dunno. Tahiti, maybe.

Sonic: Uh-huh...Couldn't find her, huh.

Percival: Nope.

Caliburn: Save the hugs and kisses for later. We need to get this battle going.

Sonic: Hey, you're not supposed to say that yet!

Caliburn: What, the part about getting this battle going?

Sonic: No, before that!

Caliburn: Oh right! Sorry, I must've read ahead in the script again.

Sonic: Wait, again?

Caliburn: Yes. The first time was when I told you to see the Lady of the Lake before battling with Lancelot and seeing Blacksmith. It was supposed to be the other way around.

Sonic: Oh. Well that doesn't matter now. *to Percival* We gonna fight, or what?

Percival: *sighs and sounds discontented* I don't know, I'm just not feeling it, y'know? I mean, being mistaken for a guy and all...it's depressing.

Sonic: *sympathetically* You poor dear... *points at her sternly* You're not innocent!

Caliburn: *rolls eyes impatiently* We're done with that "innocent" thing already!

Sonic: Oh yeah, I forgot.

Percival: *takes a sip from the Holy Grail, then puts it back in her pocket* You know what? Keep Laevatein. *kicks her sword towards Sonic*

Sonic: Huh? But...

Percival: *sadly* I guess I'm really not worthy of being a knight after all. Goodbye. *walks over to the edge of the cliff and takes a deep breath and talks to herself* I can do this, I just have to trick myself. Look at that. What? *looks away and falls off the cliff* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *continues screaming*

Sonic: *stays calmly in one place*

Caliburn: You're not going to save her?

Sonic: *shrugs* Why should I? I got all three sacred swords, right? *picks up Laevatein, which then disappears*

Caliburn: I suppose, but you're not going to let Percival die, are you?

Sonic: I thought it's what she wanted. *hears screaming fade out and waits a few seconds* Hm, that's weird. No thud. *hears a thud* :| Oh.

Percival: *from the bottom of the cliff* Darn! I'm not dead! I have to try again.

Sonic and Caliburn: *exchange strange glances*

Percival: *climbs back to the top a minute later* Ok, maybe this time... *falls off cliff again* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! *hits the bottom* Aw, man! Come on! *climbs back up, panting* Ok...maybe...it will work...this time... *falls off cliff yet again* I'm too tired to scream anymore.

Caliburn: She's just going to keep hurting herself.

Sonic: *peers over the edge* I dunno, a fall from this height would kill a man.

Percival: *stops falling in mid-air, enfuriated* WHAT WAS THAT?! *rewinds falling, putting her back up at the top*

Sonic: *gasps*

Percival: *punches Sonic in the face* Take THAT!

Sonic: *groans and falls over*

Percival: *stands over Sonic menacingly* Who's the man now?

Sonic: *weakly* You are.

Percival: *furiously* I'M NOT A MAN!! *beats up Sonic*

Caliburn: *clears his throat* Can we argue about this later? We have a kingdom to save, Knave.

Sonic: F*** YOU!

Caliburn: *stabs Sonic in the rear*

Sonic: *clutches his rear and runs around, yelling in pain* YEEEEEOOOOOWW! OOH! OW! OUCH!

Percival: Now if you'll excuse me, I have a rendezvous with the bottom of the cliff. *about to jump off again*

Sonic: *pulls Percival back* Here, you'll feel much better if you had another drink. *grabs the water canteen from Caliburn's mouth*

Caliburn: Hey! I was drinking that!

Sonic: *to Percival* You got a cup or something? I don't think you want Caliburn's germs.

Caliburn: I beg your pardon??

Percival: *takes out Holy Grail*

Sonic: *looks at it in disgust* No offense, but that cup looks like a piece of junk.

Percival: *glares at him* Piece of junk?! This is the Holy Grail you're talking about!

Sonic: You mean the one that if you drink from it you become immortal or something? :o

Percival: *rolls eyes* Yes, what did you think it-- 0_0 ...Ohhhh, so that's why it didn't work... *glares at Grail* Curse the Holy Grail!! *throws Grail at the ground*

Sonic: *gasps in horror and picks up the Holy Grail, brushing the dirt off it* Not the Holy Grail! What have you done?! *shakily* You could've brought doom to us all... *to the Holy Grail* She didn't mean to curse you. No... *quickly puts it in his inventory* Well, now that we're done here, we can go. *starts to walk away*

Caliburn: Now there's only one thing left for you to do.

Sonic: What?

Caliburn: Women.

Sonic: 0_0 *stammers, then faints*

Caliburn: We'll start the next chapter when he wakes up. In the meantime, please review.

_PS: In case you didn't pick up on what Caliburn was talking about, he was referring to the Knights' code of chivalry, in which it says to "do women". Whatever that means._


	10. A Sudden, Unexpected Twist

_This fic's going faster than I thought._

Chapter 9: A Sudden, Unexpected Twist

ERiN: Sonic and Caliburn return to where they last saw Merlina.

Sonic: *sees Merlina hiding behind a bush* Uh, Merlina? Why are you behind a bush?

Merlina: *jumps in fright and turns around* I wasn't trying to set you up! 0_0 I mean... *calmly* How can I help you?

Sonic: We got the three sacred swords. Now what?

Caliburn: *to Sonic* Nimue told us to defeat King Arthur, remember?

Sonic: Oh yeah. Where is he?

Merlina: Lemme check. *hides behind bush* Now let's see...apply coordinates...Aha! *jumps out and pretends to be scared* Oh no! He's right behind you!

Sonic: *turns around, but doesn't see anything* There's nothing there, Merlina.

Merlina: He'll get here, he's just a bit slow. 0_0 I mean...I thought I saw him...

King Arthur: *jumps out of bushes behind Sonic* Muhahahaha! I'm baaaaack! *grins evilly*

Merlina: *to herself* Hey, it actually worked.

Sonic: *goes up to Arthur* Prepare to lose!

Arthur: Now why would I want to do that?

Sonic: Because...you're going to lose.

Arthur: That was a rhetorical question.

Sonic: YOU'RE a rhetorical question!

Arthur: *yells in rage and starts attacking Sonic with his sword*

Sonic: *trying to defend himself* YOWCH! Caliburn, do your thing already!

Caliburn: I would, but I forget the name of King Arthur's sword. Let me check my notes. *gets notebook and starts casually looking through it* Hmm...

Sonic: *keeps getting hurt* OWW! Hurry up, Caliburn!

Caliburn: Oh, this is a cookbook. My bad. *puts cookbook away and gets another book* Lessee...

Sonic: *seems to can't take much more* CALIBURN! XO

Caliburn: Well, I can't find the name of Arthur's sword, but I do think that the other sacred swords can help. Arondight, Galatine, Laevatein! I choose you!

ERiN: The three sacred swords appear in a flash of light.

Caliburn: *to swords* Please do something about King Arthur.

Swords: Yes, sir! *all begin attacking King Arthur*

Arthur: *stops attacking Sonic and tries vainly to defend himself against the swords* AAAAAAAHHHHHH!! STOP!!!

ERiN: The sacred swords beat up King Arthur until he is weak.

Arthur: Darn. I didn't expect this to happen...

Caliburn: *to Sonic* Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Sonic: I sure am! *grabs Caliburn and charges at Arthur while shouting his battle cry* Teriaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Caliburn: This isn't what I was thinking at all! :O

Sonic: *slashes Arthur with Caliburn*

Arthur: *falls down* Nooooooooooo! There were so many things I wanted to do! Sights I wanted to see!

Sonic: *slashes Arthur again* Die, already!

Arthur: Never!

Sonic: *slashes Arthur again*

Arthur: *finally dies*

Caliburn: *randomly* Oh I remember now! It was Deathcalibur! :)

Sonic: *holds up Caliburn triumphantly and smiles* Yes! I did it! ... 0_0 *slowly* I just killed one of the greatest legends in Medieval history...

Caliburn: *furious* You FOOL! You complete _MORON!_ I was going to tell you to make Arthur surrender!

Sonic: ...Oops...

Caliburn: *to sacred swords* Get him!

Swords: *loom in front of Sonic menacingly*

Sonic: *grins innocently and puts down Caliburn, then speeds off* Hasta la bye-bye!

ERiN: The sacred swords chased Sonic out of the forest. The only problem was, once Sonic got out of the forest, the three knights were waiting for him.

Lancelot: *to Gawain and Percival* Get him!

Knights: *pounce on Sonic and beat him up with no mercy*

Swords: *catch up with Sonic and also beat him up with no mercy*

Sonic: *yelling in pain* NOOOOO!! PLEASE!! STOP IT!

ERiN: Just then, "King Arthur" began to flicker and then disappeared suddenly, revealing a hologram machine. Everyone stared strangely at it.

Merlina: *appears and goes up to the hologram machine, growling* Aw, I knew I should have gotten that warranty! *kicks machine, which electrocutes her* Yeeoow!!

Sonic: Uh, what are you talking about?

Merlina: Oh! Uh, I mean... *clears throat* Congratulations, Knave.

Sonic: Hey, I told you at the beginning of this FanFic that my name was Sonic!

Merlina: I know, but Knave is much easier to remember. Anyway, I want to thank you for defeating King Arthur.

Sonic: *to swords and knights* See? At least _someone_ appreciates me. Besides, I got the scabbard. *holds up scabbard*

Merlina: *swipes the scabbard and jumps back* Thank you!

Others: What?!

Sonic: Hey! Why'd you take my scabbard?

Merlina: It's _my_ scabbard now. You see, there was never any King Arthur. It was all just a hologram made by yours truly.

Blacksmith: MERLIN? :D

Merlina: ':| What? No! ME!

Sonic: *to Blacksmith* Hey, what are you doing here?

Blacksmith: YOU MISSED YOUR APPOINTMENT TODAY! NOW, THIS MIGHT BE A BAD TIME TO TELL YOU, BUT YOU OWE ME 32 THOUSAND DOLLARS IN LEGAL FEES! :D

Sonic: 0_0 WHAT?!

Merlina: Now that I have the scabbard, I can finally take over the kingdom and change its name to...Pony Land! :D

Others: ... *confused* ':|

Sonic: ...That's it? That's what this is all about? You want to take over the kingdom just to change its name? To Pony Land? -_0

Merlina: Uh, yeah. Why is that hard to believe?

Sonic: I dunno. It's just a little weird.

Merlina: Look, that's the plan, and I'm sticking to it. And if you don't agree, then you're gonna feel my wrath!

Sonic: *to others* What do you guys think? Pony Land or wrath?

Others: Wrath.

Sonic: *to Merlina* We choose wrath.

Merlina: *disappointed* Aww, I was really looking forward to hanging out with you guys in Pony Land... *firmly* But you leave me no choice. *to scabbard* Since I don't know anything about magic, could you like, make some cool destruction scene happen? In 3D with like, special effects and stuff?

Scabbard: Would you like me to make you immortal as well for the price of the good left in you?

Merlina: *shrugs* Eh, why not. It's bingo season. And I'm feeling lucky! :)

Others: No! No deal!

Merlina: Deal!

Scabbard: For today's bonus, would you like a song to be playing while the destruction is happening?

Merlina: Oooh! Play "Ice Queen" by Within Temptation! It'll go well with the scene.

Scabbard: Sure thing.

ERiN: For this next scene, play the chorus from "Ice Queen" while you're reading to get the full effect. A vortex with black lighting appears and starts destroying stuff. As that is happening, Merlina uses the scabbard to turn the newly destroyed stuff into whatever she wants. I dunno, like a doll house for her dolls, or a pretty red barn for her ponies. Sonic and the others run for their lives, trying to get out of the path of destruction, but they aren't fast enough. What will happen to them next? Find out, when Knave and the Black Knight returns, right after this commercial break.


	11. The Epic Ending

_There're two movie references in this chapter. If you can find them, I'll give you a prize..._

Chapter 10: The Epic Ending

Announcer: "Knave and the Black Knight" is sponsored by... *shows Chuck-E Cheese's logo* Chuck-E Cheese's, proving that blue hedgehogs with swords can be heroes too.

ERiN: We now return to our scheduled program...or something.

Sonic: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *he and the others run away from the vortex*

Caliburn: Wait, why are we running from the vortex? What's it going to do to us?

Blacksmith: *gets hit by vortex, then gets turned into a pony* NEIGH! :D

Others: 0_0 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *run away even faster*

Lancelot: This dark vortex is too fast for us!

Gawain: How else can we escape it?

Percival: Why not use a chariot? There's one right in front of us. *points to chariot in front of them*

Caliburn: And we can use Blacksmith the pony to pull the chariot while I steer.

Sonic: You mean while _I_ steer.

Caliburn: No, _I_ should steer. You are too un-knightly to ride a chariot.

Sonic: _You_ don't have any hands!

Caliburn: But I still managed to hold a gun and cock it.

Gawain: Quit arguing and get Blacksmith hooked up to the chariot, already!

Lancelot: I got this! *ties reins on Blacksmith*

Sonic: I'll steer or else it'll look weird with a sword steering. *gets in*

Caliburn: Fine, but I'll sit next to you so that you don't kill us all. *sits beside Sonic*

ERiN: So Sonic and Caliburn sat in the front, while the three Knights sat in the passenger row.

Sonic: Giddy up! *gets a whip out of nowhere and whips Blacksmith*

Blacksmith: NEIGH! :D *starts running*

Percival: Are you sure you know how to steer a chariot?

Sonic: Of course! All I have to do is pay attention to where I'm going. *lets go of reins and turns to Caliburn* You know, I still can't believe that Merlina is evil.

Caliburn: *looking ahead* Underworld Knights!

Percival: *quickly takes hold of the reins and steers away from the Knights of the Underworld*

Sonic: *not paying attention to what was happening* I never saw it coming! And I'm very observant, you know.

Caliburn: Mudslide!

Percival: *quickly steers away from the mudslide*

Sonic: *still not paying attention* Now we just need to think of a way to defeat her. *starts thinking*

Caliburn: LOBSTER! :O

Percival: 0_0 *makes a sharp turn from the giant lobster*

Lobster: *crashes into chariot*

Lancelot: *looks ahead and sees a wall* Ease up on the reins, Percival!

ERiN: Too late. The chariot crashes into the wall.

Sonic: *didn't even notice that they had crashed* I got it! *to Caliburn* Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Caliburn?

Caliburn: *frozen in place* I don't know. Were you thinking, "Oh my God, oh my God. A giant lobster almost chopped my blade off."? If so, then yes. *camera shows the lobster claw is only an inch away from his blade*

Sonic: Not quite. Let's go! *grabs Caliburn and jumps out of chariot, followed by the others* My plan is that we use the same strategy that we used to defeat Arthur: we get the sacred swords to make her lose her immortality, then I smite her!

Lancelot: But how will you get to Merlina without being turned into a pony?

Sonic: By making you go first! :)

Lancelot: 0_0 Hey!

Percival: It won't matter who goes first, but we'll all get turned into ponies if we stand around and do nothing. And we don't want to end up like Blacksmith. *gestures to Blacksmith*

Blacksmith: *mouth full of grass* NEIGH! :D

Sonic: I kinda like him better as a pony. *grins*

Nimue: *runs up to them, panting between words* Knave is...right...we have to...hoo, that was a lot of running. Let me catch my breath here. *breathes deeply* Ok. We have to defeat Merlina using the sacred swords. Knave, you go because you're the most handsome. :)

Sonic: *angry* For the last time, my name is--

Lancelot: *ignores Sonic and interrups jealously* What about me?!

Gawain: No way! _I'm_ more handsome than you!

Percival: Good thing I'm not a boy.

Sonic: *smirks at knights* Heheheh... :) *turns around towards the vortex and gulps* :( Caliburn, you first.

Caliburn: *sighs* If I must. *starts hopping towards the vortex*

Sonic: *stays where he is* Heehee. Sucka.

Others: *push him*

Sonic: Ow! Ok, ok, I'm going! *follows Caliburn*

ERiN: As Sonic and Caliburn approached the danger zone, a group of Sonic's followers came up to cheer him on.

Followers: *cheering* Go, Knave! You can do it! Kick her butt!

Caliburn: *looks up and sees a blast of magic coming at them* Knave! Don't look up! I want to see you turn into a pony! :)

Sonic: What?! *looks up and sees the blast of magic* 0_0 Uh-oh. *quickly hides behind a follower, who gets hit by the magic and turns into a pony* ...Oh. Hey, followers are good for something after all! :) This gives me an idea... *to followers* Come with me! Watch me battle Merlina and cheer me on! *starts running with Caliburn*

Followers: *follow right behind Sonic because they are too dumb to know they are being used, while cheering*

Sonic: *sees another blast of magic and throws a follower at it, instantly turning it into a pony* Sorry, dude!

ERiN: Suddenly, and without warning, Eggman appeared in front of Sonic.

Eggman: Muhahaha! What kind of Sonic game is it without an appearance by me? A lousy Sonic game, that's what! And now I shall finish you off! *grins evilly and rears his head back to laugh* Muhahahaha-- *gets turned into a pony* 0_0

Sonic: :| Well. That takes care of him. *continues running*

ERiN: So Sonic repeated the process of sacrificing his followers until he got to Merlina. By that time he had no followers left.

Caliburn: *sarcastically* Well, this really boosts your chance of becoming a knight.

Sonic: Really? Awesome! :) Now quiet, I'm about to confront Merlina.

Merlina: Hey! How did you get past my pony power?

Sonic: Let's just say that I now have enough ponies to fill a stable.

Merlina: No matter. Pony Land shall rule for all time! We'll use the power of love, ponies, and magic to conquer challenges!

Sonic: I see the ponies and magic, but I don't see the love.

Merlina: The love is the love for ponies and magic!

Sonic: I don't think that counts.

Merlina: You won't think so once you're a pony!

Sonic: What if I wanted to be a horse instead of a pony?

Merlina: Hey, _I'm_ going to be the Horse Queen! Everyone else gets to be ponies.

Sonic: So...how come you aren't a horse right now?

Merlina: 0_0 *stammers, then turns to the scabbard* Turn me into a horse!

Scabbard: Is that your final wish?

Merlina: Yes, yes!

Scabbard: *unsure* Ok... *turns Merlina into a horse*

Merlina: *to Sonic* Hahahahahaha! See? I'm the Horse Queen now! I--*coughs, speech turns raspy* Wait, what's happening to my voice? *coughs* Neigh! 0_0 Neigh? O_O NEIGH! *runs around in panic and neighs*

Sonic: *chuckles* I think Merlina's gotten a little "hoarse", huh Caliburn.

Caliburn: Ha ha. Ha ha. That was lame.

Sonic: And anti-climatic. *thinks for a bit* Ooh, wait! I got a better idea! *to scabbard* Hey, I know you're kinda used up already, but for the sake of making things more climatic, do you think you can turn me into Excalibur Sonic?

Scabbard: You'll have to pay the full price...

Sonic: *groans* Ok, I'll pay the full price.

Scabbard: Excellent. *turns Sonic into Excalibur Sonic* Your bill will come in the mail.

Sonic: *muttering* Thanks. *looks at self* Cool, I even get a red cape!

Nimue: *appears out of nowhere and rips off cape* No capes! They're too dangerous.*leaves while cuddling the cape*

Sonic: Aww. :( *turns to Merlina determindly* Your Pony Land days are over!

Caliburn: Actually, they pretty much are already over. She can't do anything now that she's a horse.

Merlina: *still running around in a circle, neighing crazily*

Sonic: Yeah, but now she's just annoying. *charges at Merlina and slashes her with Caliburn*

Merlina: NEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :O *dies with an explosion*

Sonic: *sighs* I hate breaking girls' hearts like that. Well, you know how it is... *takes a step, but all the armor is suddenly very heavy* Ugh! Ok, armor, you can come off now. Uh, Caliburn? *struggling* Caliburn!

Caliburn: What?

Sonic: Could you help me get this off?

Caliburn: No. *starts leaving*

Sonic: Hey! *tries to follow, but can't* Hey, wait! That's not fair! You're being mean, Caliburn! :( *looks at scabbard* Hey, scabbard! Wanna undo all the armour?

Scabbard: It'll cost you extra...

Sonic: Ok, fine!

ERiN: By the time everyone met up with each other, everything that Merlina had destroyed or turned into ponies were magically restored.

Blacksmith: I'M MYSELF AGAIN! :D

Percival: Thanks for sharing. -_-

Sonic: *runs up to the others* Guess what! I beat Merlina!

Caliburn: No you didn't. She was beaten by her own stupidity.

Sonic: Oh whatever. I was the one who tricked her.

Lancelot: In any case, we should peace out now and live our own lives without anyone leading us. I mean, who needs a king?

Knights: *singing and dancing in a circle* No king, no king, lalalalala--

Caliburn: *interrupts angrily* Idiots! There will be a king!

Gawain: Hey, but he said--

Caliburn: _I _will be king!

Others: ':|

Nimue: Actually, I think Knave should be king. :)

Sonic: *in rage* For the fifty-millionth time, _I'M NOT KNAVE!!!_

Nimue: Oh, well then you obviously can't be king.

Sonic: 0_0 Uh, wait! *laughs nervously* I was just kidding! Of course I'm Knave! And I'd love to be king! :)

Others: *groan*

Sonic: *glares* Shut up! Now bow to me, mortals!

Lancelot: *scoffs and crosses his arms* No way.

Sonic: *gets an idea and points at the ground* Look! A 5 dollar bill!

Gawain: *is the only one who bows down to look* Dibs! It's mine! ...Huh? Where is it?

Lancelot and Percival: *snicker*

Sonic: *to Lancelot and Percival* Your turn!

Lancelot: *quickly* I just remembered, I have to get back to Guinevere and finish our Monopoly game! *speeds off*

Percival: *quickly* And I have to, uh, buy a Monopoly game! *speeds off as well*

Gawain: *trudging away* Aw, I have to get some money...

Sonic: *crosses arms* Hmph. Some knights. *looks around and sees Caliburn quietly sneaking away* Hey! Where are you going?

Caliburn: *stops and slowly turns around* Uhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm...you see...I'm...the Monopoly banker! :) *speeds off*

Nimue: *to Sonic* It's time for me to crown you king!

Sonic: Well I guess someone's gotta do it.

Nimue: *puts crown on Sonic's head*

Sonic: *grins and looks in a puddle, then frowns* Nimue, this is a Burger King crown.

Nimue: I know! Isn't it cute? :)

Sonic: For a 2-year old. You could've at least gotten a crown from Medieval Times.

Nimue: But it hasn't been invented yet!

Sonic: Wait, how do you know that? -_0

Nimue: *waves her hands magically* I know everything... *slowly disappears into puddle*

Sonic: 0_0 Freeeeeaakyyyy... *looks around* I'm alone. -_-

_Sorry if it wasn't that epic enough, but oh well._


	12. The Ending After the Ending

_There's another couple of references in here._

Epilogue: The Ending After the Ending

ERiN: So Sonic eventually made it back to his own time. Somehow. Don't think too much about the details. He decided to tell his story to Amy, who took it extremely well.

Sonic: *to Amy* And then, I smited Merlina the Horse Queen! Wait, is smite the right word? Smote? Maybe smoot..I don't even think that's a word, actually. *chuckles* Anyway, let's say I just smited her and saved the kingdom. And that's the reason why I missed our date.

Amy: *sweetly* I understand, Sonic. :)

Sonic: *to himself* Phew.

ERiN: Just kidding! ;)

Amy: *furiously yells and takes out her hammer* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Sonic: 0_0 *starts backing up* Wait, wait, wait--

Amy: *smashes Sonic with her hammer* Take THAT, you lying liar! *continues whacking him*

Sonic: OW! AMY! CUT THAT OUT! YOW! I've been in too much pain already! OUCH! Ames, have a heart! AAAAAHHH!

Amy: I bet you were out with Sally! *hits him again with hammer*

Sonic: No! YIKES! I was only with her yesterday! 0_0 Oops.

Amy: *completely enraged* YOU CHEATING, TWO-TIMING JERK! *begins smashing Sonic harder with hammer*

Sonic: *starts running away wobbily* Adios!

Amy: *right behind him, whacking him the whole way* YOU CAN'T RUN FROM AMY!

ERiN: As the two lovebirds leave the scene, the book "King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table", which was randomly on the ground, changed to "Knave and the Black Knight".

Sonic: *comes back and picks up book* Hey! They got my name wrong! They called me "Knave"!

Amy: *still furious* WELL THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A LOSER! *whacks Sonic hard and knocks him out* :) Ah, that's better. *leaves*

Sonic: *groggily starts to wake up* Ughh... *gets up and feels fine* Hey, that didn't hurt so bad. I guess after all the pain and torture I've been through, I can withstand anything! I might not even faint again! :)

Mailman: *goes up to Sonic and hands him a paper* This just came for you. From a scabbard or something.

Sonic: Huh? *reads paper, and his eyes bulge* O_O Magic bill?! Amount due: ONE THOUSAND, TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY-FIVE DOLLARS AND THIRTY-ONE CENTS!! *moans and faints*

Porky Pig: Uh, blee-blee-blee that's all, folks! :D

The End (FINALLY!)

_I guess some things will never change... _

_Thanks for reading and reviewing! Please leave a nice final review and keep on the lookout for my next Fanfic! I won't tell you what it is (ain't I sneaky?), but I'll give you a hint: It's a western. Just kidding. It's a romance. 'Till then, sayonara!_


End file.
